Colorless world
It’s been 7 years, although it feels like yesterday since Diane my wife, was diagnosed with breast cancer. My world turned grey, someone pulled the plug on colour and down the drain it went. We came through it and multi chromic service has resumed and I am still amazed at the power of the mind to take facts and interpret them in ways that transform my physical and mental worlds.
Hearing the news that she had cancer sent me on a journey into a morass of intense emotions, feelings that manifested as REAL physical pains, ‘running tracks’ of thought that looped and looped and looped.
In my thoughts I was already a widowed father, struggling to live and cope with 5 children under 10 years old; in a house that was falling down around my ears. I was already giving up my work to care for those I had left after ‘that’ disease had robbed me of my life mate.
The feelings of grief, loneliness and despair were over whelming…
But nothing had happened yet and none of it existed; my imagination had produced a set of internal representations, which in turn were dictating to my thinking, feeling, speaking and doing. The facts were FACTS but my interpretations of those facts did ‘not exist’, as yet the future was NOT REAL, it was just a possibility waiting to be fashioned, as I made moment-by-moment thinking choices which led to action steps, as Leonardo Da Vinci said ‘the moment has no time’.
